A little update

Today I put together my new bed with help from my Mom. I’m moving into a new bedroom, and we found a really cute bed frame that’s white with swirly metal pieces along the headboard and footboard. I am very excited because this is a room I’ll have all to myself to decorate how I like!

I have a few plans so far for how I want to decorate. I’d like a little reading nook in one corner next to my bookshelves, and I might paint an end table with some white paint to give it a new look. The room has some okay-ish wallpaper, but I think I’ll invest in some removable wallpaper to cover over it - I think I’ll have three walls completely white, then an accent wall. There’s one I’ve been eyeing that has stars printed on it, but I wonder if that would be too much? We’ll see.

I’ve been reading quite a lot too lately. Spring break has been fantastic for that. One of my friends at school lent me a book, but with the virus going around, I don’t think I’ll be able to get it back to him for a while since classes are moving online. I’m hoping I don’t run out of books to read. I know that probably won’t happen (and even if it did, there’s a whole internet full of free ebooks), but fingers crossed still.

Well, I see it’s been over a year since I wrote anything on this blog, which is shocking because I don’t know how that much time has passed since my last post. My grandma likes to read my posts, and I was thinking of her today, so I wanted to write something here for her to read even if it’s a bit short. <3

Hoping to write more here soon. Lots of love,

Christmas 2016

Hope you all had a lovely Christmas! Mine was absolutely spectacular! My family and I opened presents and stockings, watched some shows together (Mission Impossible and Star Trek...yes, very non-traditional things to watch on Christmas day. 😉), played Twister, tried out all our new gifts, put together Christmas supper, and in all, spent a great day with each other. It wasn't a white Christmas unfortunately...but it did rain, so I guess that was okay. Better than nothing at all (and you ought to know how much I love rain). 🙂

Aside from telling y'all about my Christmas, I wanted to share a little something. On Christmas Eve, my family and I went to a Christmas Eve service at the Church. The place was all decorated up with wreaths and garlands, and everyone received a candle which was lit at the end of the service. Towards the end of the service, the pastor showed a short video - rather, a commercial - about an event during World War I where the British and Germans stopped the fighting to celebrate Christmas together. The video was quite awe-inspiring, and so I want to share it with you. You can watch it below. December 25 may be over this year, but I hope the joy and love and peace that comes with the Christmas season never ends.

Christmas Truce of 1914, World War I

May your days be merry and bright, everyone!

à la prochaine,

Time

Wow. It's a bit hard to believe my last post was over a month ago. A lot of things have happened since then, and now Christmas is coming and so is New Years and...all I can say is wow. I wish time went slower than it does. Moments seem to be here one minute and gone the next.

Life is calming down somewhat here after a busy month in our household. We've geared up for the Christmas season. We have our Christmas tree by the front window - something I've wanted for ages! I love seeing Christmas trees in the windows of people's houses as we drive by to look at the lights. :)

I've been making presents for my family too. Mostly sewing projects - toys and such. I'm hoping to crochet a teddy bear for some family friends who are expecting a baby really soon. I'm also crocheting little baskets for a Tea Party my Grandma is having this Spring. They're so cute! We chose Spring colors, so the baskets are yellow, pink, green and blue.

My family and I have been watching a lot of Studio C since a friend introduced us to it a while ago. My younger sister loves it so much - she gets to laughing so hard! :D

Not too long ago, my best friend, Paprika, and her family came to visit for a day. It was awesome. Paprika and I went to the coffee shop three times (I live so close to it - why not?). At one point, we tried some of each other's drinks, and the "friend" part of me was all for it, but the sensory part of me was like "no, don't do it!" Paprika could tell part of me wasn't very willing (I'll bet it wasn't too hard to notice), and remarked, "This is killing you, isn't it?" But we shared anyway, which is something I wouldn't do with many people. Guess that's why she's my best friend though. ;)

While she was here, we spoke with British accents for quite a while - although I did eventually switch to Scottish because I like it slightly better. We pretended to be cousins during the 1400s too. She actually taught me how to play pretend. I didn't really pretend with anyone before I met her. And now whenever we get together, we're in a Nancy Drew mystery or making up our own adventure. :)

A very special event is coming up for me soon. I'm super excited and a little bit sad. There is an ornament on our tree that my Mom made for me before I was born. It is a clear glass ball filled with heart-shaped confetti and one note rolled up into a scroll. All my life I have waited to read that small note (and I've come pretty close to it...but that was when I was an impatient little six-year-old who tried to open it in secret. ;) ), and now this December I will finally read it. I am counting down the days. The reason why I'm sad is because I can't help but think, Wow, I've waited all this time and now the waiting is almost over. It's a bit hard to believe I will get to open the ornament and read the note inside. Believe me, I am super curious to know what it says!

My special ornament

On another note, my newest sibling was born! And now we have an equal ratio of boys to girls! It's kind of been we girls' "competition" to finally "catch up" with the boys again. And, well, we finally did. ;) So, yes, that is very exciting. After some waiting and doctor visits, Baby Ten is doing very well.

Well, this is as good a place as any to sign off. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

à la prochaine,

Slow

There’s absolutely no reason for being rushed along with the rush.

Everybody should be free to go very slow.

~ Robert Frost

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if people went about life in a slower manner. I'm pretty slow when it comes to some things anyway. Mealtimes, for instance. I've nearly always been the last person to finish eating because I'm slower than everyone else (There's a really funny joke about that: Doctors say that if you eat slowly, you eat less - You certainly will if you're in a large family.), and when I used to wash dishes during table chores, I'd spend at least 30 minutes longer than the next person, because I'd stare out the window (seriously, windows above sinks were created for the sole purpose to make you feel cooped up washing dishes, and stand there pondering everything that is) and also make sure the dishes were spotless. Doing laundry is only fun when I fold it. I have time to think, folding things - towels are my favorite because they are symmetrical, and therefore easier to fold the neatest. And folding seems to take at least 10 minutes for me (That might not seem long, but I feel very slow when I'm folding, and I see dust on the window sill, and I remember that I didn't dust it the week before, so I search for a paper towel, and I dust it, then I see a sock from who knows how long ago, so I put it in the dirty laundry, and then I start folding again...).

I go about things slower (but, admittedly, not always methodical) than most people. I'm usually the last one out the door on Sunday morning, because I left my shoes somewhere, or I had to find a pencil for my notebook for taking notes. I think and think and think some days on what to wear...a week in advance. When I put my clothes away, I color-, and type-code them. My closet is ordered like this: long-sleeved outfits, patterned skirts, solid-colored skirts, jeans, capris, gray shirts, blue shirts, purple shirts, pink shirts, white and tie-dye shirts, orange and red shirts, and TeenPact blazers and skirts. I've ordered my closet since I was 11 years old. Occasionally I'll find that someone has put away, say, one of my blue shirts in with the white shirts, and I'll put it back with the blue shirts. No big deal, but I like having sections in my closet.

I focus on details rather than the big picture. I watched a trailer for a movie recently, and I noticed little details that another person might have missed. I like seeing a painting from a distance, then pulling in and seeing all the dots or swathes of paint. I do magic eye puzzles because it's all about patience and slowly blurring everything until the picture comes into view. I stare out the window on road trips just in case I see a deer, or a change in the colors of a sunset. When I mow, I look for wild strawberries growing in the yard. 

I like the feeling of slow most days. Slow is calm. Slow is inviting. Slow is knowing that everything will wait for you. Slow is peaceful. I wonder what it would be like if slow was accepted in society. If the rush wasn't so important. If a focused, peaceful slow was the norm. If we cherished the moments that disappear so quickly.

What's the hurry?

Phase 10 And Sour Apples

My Grandma came to visit recently. Whenever she comes, we play at least one card game - usually Phase 10 or Uno. This week, we played tons of Uno games, a few games of Phase 10 (one of which, she and I sort of tied...though, in reality, she and I were both on Phase 10, and she went out of cards first, so she won.), and a couple games of Apples To Apples. We like to switch Apples To Apples around and use the green cards as our hands, and the red cards as the ones we have to describe. We call this version "Sour Apples." I guess you can't possibly lose when you describe a choose-your-own card that says "Mark Twain" with a card that says "Mark Twain." :-D

I love spending time with my Grandma because she is just an amazing person. She always has a plan, and she makes sure everyone sticks to it (that's one reason why we lovingly call her "Sergeant Grandma."). And she cuts sandwiches lengthwise. And she makes hot cocoa and cinnamon toast for breakfast. And she has a cute Shi-Tzu named Bailey, who is so soft! He's a shy little puppy dog too.

She took me on a bus tour to Branson a couple years ago, and I had a blast. It was nearly Christmastime, and we got to see Jonah at the Sight And Sound Theatre, the Dixie Stampede (I love horses, so that was an awesome experience), Daniel O'Donnell, and quite a few other shows. By the time the tour was over, we were both tired! The week was full of things to do, places to see. I got to eat Sprite and ice cream for supper one night. ;-) It was a super fun trip.

A photo I took of the reflection in the ceiling of a truck stop we got off at during our Branson trip.

Sometimes my Grandma will call us or send small letters to each of us kids. She calls me Princess, and I love that nickname. I used to want to be Cinderella when I grew up (that dream was imagined recently when I got to dress up in a lovely, Baroque-period dress, and, as I half-ran up the stairs of the building, a lady referred to me in these words: "She looks like Cinderella!"). I guess I still want to be Cinderella - I just need a Fairy Godmother and a pumpkin coach.

A long time ago, she would take us girls (my Mom, Sunshine and me) to Victorian tea parties. We would dress up the part and attend the tea. The sugar cubes had icing flowers on them, and the tea was always delicious. There was a harpist one year, and I thought she looked like an angel. I always had fun at those parties, even though I was super shy all the time. I liked dressing up in pretty clothes for the parties. One year, the tea party was Scotland-themed, and my Mom dressed me up in a plaid skirt, white socks, dress shoes, a blouse and a beret. I looked so cute. One of the dishes they served was haggis. Try it first, then ask what it is. It was pretty good, as far as I can remember.

She taught me how to play Sudoku. I remember watching her write a 5, and since then I've written my 5 like that because I thought it was the prettiest 5 I'd ever seen. She makes the bottom half, then adds a long, sweeping line on top. I have a thing with numbers, so I love how she writes a 5.

At times, she'll accidentally leave one of her books at our house, and I'll find it. They're usually Amish novels and short stories, sometimes a really good mystery. I think that's what got me started with liking novels - her forgetting a book on the end table, and me picking it up.

She bought one of those record-your-voice books where you speak the words on each page and it plays back to you whenever you turn the page. We have that book in a special place, and sometimes I take it down and turn the pages and listen to her read the storybook. I love the last page of the book, "I love you round and round the world. I love you through and through. And when it seems impossible to love you more, I do." That's her. That's my Grandma.

When we had to move to a house that didn't allow pets, she said she would take care of my guinea pig, Inca, at her house. We were so close to having to move, and I'd have to leave my little baby, and who stepped in to keep that from happening? My little Inca was very happy there, I know.

My Grandma tells stories about Peter Rabbit and baby squirrels, makes imaginary sandwiches on our backs, makes sure you wake up at a good time, acts like a kid when the opportunity presents itself, and is always ready to do something with you.

I love my Grandma. She's too amazing for words, but I hope you can see just how much I love her.

Sergeant Grandma, you're the best.

Love,

July 4th!

Happy 4th of July!!!

I love fireworks so much, and today is really, really special. We bake a cake and put lots of frosting on it. And we watch the fireworks go off outside. And we smile because everything is so beautiful.

Emmy, this is for you. ♥

Emmy, you will always be my little strawberry. I love you so, so much and so, so beyond words. I'm sure you would love the fireworks here. They are just for you.

I love you, little sis. ♥♥

On Working at The Merch Table (and learning to use a card reader)

Hey, everybody! Can't believe June is coming to an end. I'm not too excited for the hot weather, but I'll survive. ;-) This past month has been pretty busy and crazy, in a good way, and I really want to share one particular day I had this month.

I worked at the merch table for a band in our city recently, and that was a great experience! One of the band members showed me how to work the credit card reader, shook my hand, thanked me for helping out, and left to get ready for the show. So, there I was, standing at the table, all by myself. I felt pretty awesome. A few people came by pre-show to buy CDs, and I got the hang of the card reader and counting change. After the show started, I was allowed to sit in on the show, provided I returned to the table just before intermission. It was a really cool concert, let me tell you! The band was like Piano Guys minus the piano. I ended up buying a couple of their CDs after the show, and they signed them for me. :-)

However, during intermission, I got back to the table, and I look up and all of a sudden there is a HUGE line of people in front of me. I'd memorized the "spiel," so when they asked me how much the CDs were, I'd say "Well, these 2 are $12 each, this one's $15, BUT we have a great deal - if you buy 2 CDs, it's $20; if you buy 3, it's $30." Most of the time, they raised their eyebrows in surprise and proceeded to buy 2 or 3. A pair of girls slightly older than me got to the table, picked up one of the CDs and shrieked, "Oh my goodness! Taylor Swift's on this one! We have got to get this one!" Then they glanced up at me, and I'm hiding a grin because I have no idea why they're so excited about Taylor Swift. "How much is this?" Proceed with spiel. Met with "Oh man! We can get two of them now! Which one?! Oh, this one! Yeah! It's got (name of song I've never heard before) on it! Yeah, we'll take these two!"

So, yeah, that was pretty entertaining to watch. And I upsold 'em. *mischievous laugh* ;-D I had no idea I was such a good salesgirl.

Then it got crazy. I mean crazy. I told you there was a huge line. And that I was all by myself. So here I was, sliding cards and taking cash and handing out change and shooting out the deal we had and answering questions and...Well, I was not prepared for so many people all at once. I have a new appreciation for the people at the merchandise tables at the concerts I go to.

Well, I got another volunteer to help me out, and together, we sold a bunch of CDs. It was a bit less hectic, although the card reader misbehaved quite a few times and some people had to pay cash (we did a little happy dance every time a credit card went through the first time!). After the concert, the band members sat at the table beside us to sign CDs, so that was a huge rush too. Everyone wanted to buy a CD (and 9 times out of 10, they ended up with 2 or 3). It was like a flood. It was loud. It was crazy. But we sold albums like nobody's business.

I'm really introverted, so that whole experience was pretty overwhelming for a while. I had to actually talk to hundreds of people. That was a feat in and of itself. I had to smile happily when the card reader didn't want to work, though inside I was going crazy hoping they wouldn't get upset at me. I had to count out change (we had to break a lot of bills, which was a bit annoying - I wondered how people could have such huge bills and not a single 10 or 20.) - and sometimes I counted twice since I didn't want to shortchange anyone. Thank goodness I didn't.

So, I had to overcome that whole thing. After the concert-goers had had their CDs bought and signed, I leaned over and told the other volunteer, "Hey, let's buy our CDs from each other!" So, I gave her the spiel and she bought two and I swiped her card and we laughed out loud since the card actually went through. Then she turned and gave me the spiel and I bought two and she counted out the cash and stuffed it into the bag, zipped it up. Then we went around the table, grinning from ear to ear, and the band members signed our CDs and thanked us for helping out. We shook hands, took each other's picture with them. Then they packed up their instruments, thanked us one more time, and left the venue.

And I was exhausted, let me tell you! I couldn't believe how many CDs we'd sold that night! And how many people there were! And how awesome it was that, as simple as it was, the band member taught me how to use a card reader. So, I went home a couple hours later, very happy and very tired.

But if you asked me to work the merch table at a concert, I'd do it again.

Even if the card reader misbehaved.

My TeenPact Experience, Part 4

This is the last post in this series, though I'm sure there will be many more TeenPact references to come.  I hope you've enjoyed this series on what I've experienced and learned as a TeenPacter!

To end this series, I'm going to start with something I've learned about TeenPact elections.

All my life, I've wanted to be important, loved and accepted.  Doesn't everyone?  But I've realized that just because I didn't get through the primaries until this year doesn't mean that I wasn't well-liked or accepted by the other TeenPacters in my party.  And it doesn't mean that I wasn't good enough or hadn't tried hard enough or hadn't met enough students for anyone to want to vote for me.  I blamed myself for being fake, for not even trying to be brave, for being too shy.  And, as you've read in my previous posts in this series, I had made myself believe that no one would like me for being myself.  I put that lie in my head, walked into TeenPact and owned it.  And afterwards, I knew I'd done it all for the sake of being popular and accepted.

In the first part of this series, I wrote about how TeenPacters have a "game" of sorts.  When I first started going to TeenPact, I was so worried that I'd play the game wrong.  If I didn't play right, no one would vote for me.  If I didn't play right, no one would recognize me and ask me "For what purpose do you rise?"  If I didn't play right...On and on!  I was so afraid of the game that it consumed me. But the game is just an imaginary, silly game.  It's unwritten.  It changes.  It's not about popularity or being voted for in the elections - it's about having fun with suspending rules to make the PD talk like Kermit The Frog, or having the clerk read bills in a Speedy Gonzalez voice.  It's about poking fun at speaking con.  It's about debating a bill to make the state a constitutional monarchy, and amending it to appoint the Program Director as the king (and then, after Rendezvous, crowning him with a paper crown and giving him a coffee mug with The King written on it).  The game isn't an imposing threat that if you mess one thing up (and you don't even know what that one thing might be!), you'll fail miserably.  The game is purely fun and not real.  I just wish I'd known that sooner.

So, this year was the first time I stopped fearing the imaginary game.  I stopped caring about being fake to be liked, and started caring about being real.  And if people liked me for who I really was, well, I'd have some new friends.  And perhaps it wasn't just about me coming out from behind my mask and taking charge of my real self.  Perhaps it was actually my slogan that got me into General Elections.  Perhaps it was actually what I said during Rendezvous that allowed me to meet new people.  Or maybe it was so many things combined with my mission to stop being an awkward fake person and start being an awkward real person that brought a whole new light to my TeenPact experience.

All I know is that, this year, I didn't regret anything, cry afterwards, or kick myself for saying something dumb.  Like Lecrae says in his song, Broken:

Ain’t a soul on the planet
That’s better than another
And we all need grace in the face of each other

So I'm done with putting on masks for the sake of making friends.  If I do that, I won't be making the right friends: the ones who accept me for who I am.  I'm not Taw, Paprika, the PD who can play Devil's Advocate, or TeenPact President Fitzpatrick (of the #thanksFitzpatrick and #thanksFitzpatrickthe2nd fame).  I'm myself.  And that's good enough for me.

TeenPact, thanks for teaching me about chewy fruit and good-for-the-environment candy, for giving me fun memories that will last forever, and for getting to know awesome staffers, interns and Program Directors!  But most importantly, thanks for helping me find myself.

TeenPact has taught me to be a leader not just in my TeenPact life, but also in my daily life in general, and has greatly impacted me in my walk.  I recommend the classes to anyone and everyone in their teens!


Other Parts Of This Series:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

My TeenPact Experience, Part 3

I learn a lot when TeenPact rolls around.  The alumni track was really good this year.  The American Criminal Justice System is much more interesting than you'd think.  I had to write a 1,500-word essay about it, after all!  In the time it took me to research and write up my essay, entitled "How To Reform The American Criminal Justice System," I consumed loads of facts, stories and statistics.  I don't know when I'll ever again have to talk to someone about the 2.2 million people currently in prison, but if I do, I'll have lots of facts to back me up!

Our PD this year was, in a word, amazing.  He could play Devil's Advocate like nobody's business.  He asked questions that made us think about our opinions and why we believed in them.  "Not that your ideas are wrong, but you want to be able to back them up if someone asks you the why behind them." He said.  I still wonder if he put forth some of his own opinions when he played Devil's Advocate though. ;)

One of the things that has impacted me the most about TeenPact this year was how real I was.  I was more open with the people in my Rendezvous group.  And I'm not open with people.  But this year, when the staffers in my group asked about anything we needed to get off our chests, I didn't feel like staying quiet.  I didn't want to hide behind a mask anymore.  I didn't want to worry about whether or not one of them would judge me.  I didn't want to bother with hiding.  So, I opened up a little and found that one of the girls I know empathized with me...she knew exactly what I was going through.

When I got out of General elections, even though I didn't win, I had no regrets.  I didn't regret coming up with a dumb agrarian slogan, didn't regret trying to make people like me, didn't regret making a fool of myself, didn't regret putting on a lot of masks for everyone, didn't regret losing in the primaries.  Because I didn't have to.  Things were different this year.  I was different this year.  I had a great slogan courtesy of my Mom (thanks, Mom!), met lots of new people by just being myself, found that I had a lot more in common with some people than I'd originally thought, and got into the General elections.  And I didn't regret anything I'd done at TeenPact this year.

I made it my mission during TeenPact week to be myself.  Truth is, sometimes I don't know who that is.  But I believe TeenPact, its staffers, its program directors and its students have helped me learn day by day, week by week a little bit more about who I am.

And who knows?  Maybe next year, I'll be a senator.

Have you been to TeenPact?  Tell me in the comments section about how TP has shaped who you are!

I hope you enjoy this series of posts about my experiences at TeenPact!  Thanks for reading!

Other Parts Of This Series:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 4

My TeenPact Experience, Part 2

Hey, y'all!  Hope you enjoyed my previous post in this series!  Here's Part 2!

I knew a lot of the students this year.  Some of them were staffers now.  I smiled, shook their hands, gave them hugs if I knew them well enough.  Our PD seemed familiar to me.  Turns out, through a slightly awkward conversation, I realized I'd seen him on TeenPact Memes.  He's famous there, I guess. ;)

After catching up with my TeenPact buddies, I met a few new people...Most of them were first-timers.  I told them that, if they liked the first year, the Alumni Track would be even more fun.

I spent months writing up my essay (the previous year, you had to write two 500-word essays on interventionism.  This year, it was one 1,500 word essay on the American Criminal Justice System), planning my bill topic, and coming up with the slogan.  No more dumb agrarian slogan.  This year, I'd be myself.  This would be my slogan.  Well, not quite because...

See, every student knows Taw's name.  So, they also know that I'm his little sister.  If I had a dollar for every time I met a student or staffer who said, "Hey, you must be Taw's little sister!"  I can't tell you how rich I'd be.  But connections are good.  Especially when you have a big brother who's been elected to every position.

So, this year, my slogan was "Vote For Me.  I'm Taw's Little Sister!"  Yup, that was my slogan.  I loved it.  It was funny because everyone knew who Taw was.  And, oh, the laughs I got when I said it!  A candidate standing next to me when we were in the primaries liked it a lot.  Every time after that, when we started talking to each other, he'd say "Vote for me.  I'm Taw's little sister!"  And I laughed too.  Pretty good slogan compared to my agrarian tree hugger slogan two years before.

Primaries...Students nominate others and/or themselves.  Every candidate in your party stands in a line.  You all get asked questions, like "What would you do (selfishly...no giving it to charity) with a million dollars?"  And then you get really deep questions, like "What kind of fish would you be and why?"

I said I'd be the humuhumunukunukuāpua'a.  More laughing (mind you, I was laughing too).  One of my friends, a staffer, exclaimed, "Say that again!"  One of the students said, "I can't fit that many syllables into my mouth!"  Ah, it was a good feeling.  Being myself and loving it.  It's nice to have a good laugh with everyone when you say you'd like to be the Hawaiian state fish. And humuhumunukunukuāpua'a sounds so much more impressive than simply saying Reef Triggerfish. :D

Another part of being myself was reassuring other students - first-timers and alumni alike - that they should run, or that they'd do great, or that it'd be lots of fun.  I like to focus on helping other people feel comfortable, especially when I'm feeling just the same.  Those butterflies I told you about in my previous post?  Well, I'm not the only one who gets them.  One girl, she got elected Senator.  She sat next to me the last day, fretting about her speech, telling me she'd probably make a mistake, or just stand there and freeze.  I told her she'd do great, that I knew she would.  She gave a little laugh and said she'd totally campaign for me next year - do anything to help me out since she didn't want to run again.  She delivered her speech, and sat down next to me, breathing out a sigh.  I complimented her and she grinned.  I like that feeling of making people feel good about themselves.

So, as you can probably guess, I didn't get elected this year either.  But there's something I have to tell you.  For the first time as a TeenPacter, I got voted out of the primaries!  I made it to the General elections!  I was so, so happy!  I could hardly believe it.  I finally got to stand where my friends - and big brother - had stood.  I got to answer questions about which donut I'd be, and what our party stance was!  And there I was, more content than I'd ever been at TeenPact, standing in front of all the other students.  Lined up with all the other Senatorial candidates, answering every question with a huge smile on my face.

And, yeah, the other students laughed with me when I announced my slogan.

Have you been to TeenPact?  Did you get into the elections?  Tell me about your TP experience in the comments below!  

I hope you enjoy this series of posts about my experiences at TeenPact!  Thanks for reading!

Other Parts Of This Series:
Part 1
Part 3
Part 4

My TeenPact Experience, Part 1

Hey, y'all!  Hope you've enjoyed Memorial Weekend.  It's nice to see that over the decades, people still care about remembering America's soldiers.

This past week, I've been having a "missing the memories" time of it.  Basically, that means I remember something and feel sad about it...in a good way.  For the past few days, that something has been TeenPact.

I love everything about TeenPact except Sine Die (saɪnɪ daɪɪ - Latin, lit. End of the end.  The end of TPLeg).  So today, I'm taking that happy-sad memory of my week at TeenPact and turning it into a post. :)

TeenPact is rather, um, difficult to describe.  It's a Christian government class for teens.  You write bills, run in elections, hold a mock legislature (where you debate bills), listen to speakers, and debate stances on a subject in the Alumni Track.  And it's...it's...fun.  Person who has never attended TeenPact: "Are you kidding me?  How is that fun?  Don't take this personally, but is there something wrong with you?"

I've met kids who have attended TeenPact for years, and they've said their parents literally dragged them to the class their first year.  They just plain didn't want to go.  Four days of government stuff just didn't sound fun.  And afterwards?  They begged to come back the next year!  Hmmm, guess they actually enjoyed this government stuff.

I've never had that kind of story...My big brother, Taw, started attending the classes with his buddies who had been going for a long time.  So, naturally, I was more than excited when I was able to attend.  My first year at the Four-Day class (the One-Day is less intense, but it did prepare me for the new experience of the Four-Day), I was nervous beyond words!  I was excited, but there were butterflies in my stomach that didn't go away.  Actually, they've never gone away.  Every year, when I get up and stand in line, waiting to read my bill, those butterflies come back.  I choke and smile at the other kids standing beside me, wondering if they have those butterflies too.

Besides the butterflies that never leave, I had a crazy first year!  I was one of the new ones at the Four-Day class, so I didn't know how to "play the game."  Yes, there's a "game" of sorts at TeenPact.  The game consists of a lot of inside jokes and "cheating without cheating" of the rules, like where some students (including your big brother!) decide to pull off a "speak con on your bill" thing.  I still cringe when I remember saying "no" to my brother when he asked to "speak con."  All the alumni kids gasped, some chuckled.  Turns out he'd played the game.  Many times, the students speak con to help you (and the other students) out.  To get your bill passed.  They obey the TP rules, but when they get to the well, they joke about how "awful" this bill is for the environment, how this could never in a million years help anyone...Sounds painful, but they say it in the funniest voice, and you know they're not serious.  They're okay with your bill.  They want to help you out.  So they joke their way through speaking con.  And if they're serious about speaking con, that's okay.  At least you're one step closer to getting your bill through TPLeg.

So, I was one of the new ones.  I learned my way through the "game" (I still ended up crying a little that night after Night Class...I was sad that I hadn't known about the game before I'd said no to my own brother!) that week, and decided to run in the primaries.

Primaries are crazy things at TeenPact.  In preparation for the General elections, people create T-shirts, make posters, give out candy (mostly Starbursts and Hershey Kisses), and pass out business cards.  You never know who voted for you, just whether or not you got into the General elections or not.  My first and second year, I tried to be liked.  I wanted everybody to like me.  To me, it seemed like everyone loved Taw.  He'd been elected to every position: Governor, senator, clerk, chairman.  Man, one year he and another former Governor ran a smear campaign against themselves just so a First-Timer could win!  That was a hilarious election.

But anyway, I'd wanted to be liked.  I didn't want to be one of "those kids" who was weird and had a funny laugh and found pleasure in calling "Point Of Order" whenever I pleased.  I wanted to be like Taw.  Liked by everyone.  So I tried to be Taw.  I tried to make funny jokes that everyone laughed at.  Tried to be witty and extroverted.  Problem is, I'm severely introverted.  I can fake extrovert for a long time, but eventually I'll go back to my corner and die inside because I peopled "too much" for one day.  And I can't make up a joke on my own to save my life.  I'm funny on accident.

So, I wasn't myself.  I tried so hard to be my big brother because he was popular and smart and funny and just plain awesome.  And I wasn't myself anymore.  I felt like I wasn't good enough if I tried to be myself.  No one would want to hang out with, much less vote for, a shy, introverted, awkward, not-funny-at-all girl, right?  I made up a "funny" (dumb, actually) slogan in the agrarian party because Taw is funny, so I should be too.  I lost in the primaries that year.  Tried again the next year.  This time, I was a bit more me.  Way better than trying to be Taw.

I lost in the primaries that year too.  But I felt better.  I still wished I was in General elections, but my best friends (including my big brother, naturally) were in General elections, so I was really excited for them.  But there was still that nagging feeling inside me that I hadn't tried hard enough, that I wasn't good enough, that I'd tried to be the best I could be and had failed again.  I didn't want to be myself because no one would want me, like me, vote for me, befriend me.  I got caught up in the popularity of it all, the desire to be identical to my big brother.

But this year?  This year I made myself promise to totally be myself.  The real me.  Not the fake me.  The different, shy, introverted, not-funny, awkward girl with the awesome big brother was going to TeenPact.

Have you been to TeenPact?  Tell me what you liked most about your TP experience in the comments below!  

I hope you enjoy this series of posts about my experiences at TeenPact!  Thanks for reading!
Happy Memorial Day!

Other Parts Of This Series:
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

Update (4/30/16)

Hey, y'all!  Hope your April has been fantastic!  Here is a short update from me. :)

I can't believe April has gone by so fast!  We had some nice rain, so that was very nice.

Since my last update, I've finished my portrait montage, and have started a few other new portraits - Sherlock and Moriarty from BBC's Sherlock, Lauren Daigle, and Tom Baker as the 4th regeneration in Doctor Who (He is my favorite regeneration.).  The finished montage is below.

I'm really excited about how much my art has improved over the past few years that I've been drawing portraits.  Below is a photo I posted on Instagram of some of the portraits I've drawn through those years.

L to R: Rose Tyler and Tenth Doctor, Lecrae, NF, Angel montage.

So, yeah, I've definitely improved!  I'm still really proud of my portrait of NF, just because I hadn't done any drawing in quite some time then, and that one had turned out better than anything I'd ever drawn before.  Drawing hair is still quite a challenge, but I think that's getting a little easier as I practice.  But I think David Tennant would be disgraced if he ever saw my rendition of his hair. ;)

Aside from art...

I'm going to have another sibling!!!  I am so, so excited!  Baby Ten is due this Fall.  Mom wanted me to crochet a baby blanket for #10, so I've started that.  It's a blanket composed of many Granny Triangles, and is very easy to work up.  I found the pattern HERE.  We chose a Fall color scheme for the yarn (I'm using Lion Brand yarn for this project.).

I've released a brand NEW e-magazine on the DiverseReflections Store, so hop on over and check it out - it's a FREE download!

I attended TeenPact again this year, and it was super fun!  This year's Alumni track was probably my favorite so far - The American criminal justice system.  Also, I got to meet the TeenPact-meme-famous PD, Elijah Knapp, who very nearly became the King of our state (the state would have been a constitutional monarchy). ;)  Awesome guy - my favorite PD so far!

Also, I met a young lady at the Church we've found in our new town, so I'm hoping that it will be the start of a new friendship - I have so much trouble finding friends sometimes.  Most of the people I know here are from the Deaf community, so I'm definitely learning more Sign, which is fantastic!

Well, that's about it for now!  I'll be updating again soon, so keep checking back and subscribe so you'll never miss a post.  Check out my photography business and blog, Diverse Reflections Photography too!

Have a lovely last day of April!

Moving

This past month has been a huge whirlwind of activity!  I finally got on to my site today, and I was so shocked when I saw that my last post was November 17!  Happy December.

It's been very different moving to the city after nine months in the middle of nowhere.  And the fact that our neighbors are extremely nice is, dare I say it, just a tad creepy.  I mean, I have never had such nice neighbors in years!  So when three different people rang my doorbell on the same day, I started to get nervous and happy at the same time.

We stayed in a hotel until we had unpacked a majority of the boxes, making it a livable place to stay!  It was kind of boring though, because the only thing we could do when we had time off was either eat at a restaurant (we didn't have all the kids with us, so it was less expensive), go back to the WIFI-less hotel and watch TV, or go to bed.  Basically, all I did in the hotel was watch CNN and Fox News while crunching ice.  I agree with you if you think that is weird.

 Now, we're all moved in (even though there are still millions of boxes...oh, if you could only see our garage!), and Kip, our dog, has a fenced-in backyard.  That's a lot better than a huge field without a fence.

Have a great December!

Why I'll (Probably) Never Shoot RAW Again

Recently, my family and I took a week-long trip to the awesome state of Colorado.  I charged my camera batteries, emptied my memory cards, packed my bag, and we were on the road (a few hours later, of course...with all the kids in tow, we don't get out the door as fast as some people!). 

We reached the mountains, and I started shooting with my camera set to different exposures, and fiddling with other settings.  I had 'puffed up' my knowledge of portrait photography with a lot of books from the library before we had left on our trip, but some of the ideas worked on landscape photos, too.

One subject I kept seeing was the ever-recommended "shoot in RAW, and don't look back."  Well, I thought, "Hey, why not try it out?"  My mistake.
I failed to read up on it, and switched my image setting from Fine to RAW.  I continued shooting like always.  Throughout the whole trip, actually.

A whole 32GB card filled with mountains, horses, plants, fish, and other things later...

I came home, and emptied my card.  Or, at least, I tried to.  Windows Media wouldn't let me see my photos.  Photoshop refused to open them for editing.  Picmonkey would only take JPEG.

I actually started crying (no kidding) because I thought I had lost all of the photos I had recorded.  The great ones and the blurry ones.  The family documentations and the just-for-fun shots.  Everything.  Period.

Google and my Mom came to the rescue.  After a while, we figured out that RAW is converted, and all that what-not.  But even the converter we downloaded didn't work.  So, I had to go through all. my. photos. manually.  I had to convert my photos, on-camera, from RAW back to Fine. 

But then, another roadblock occurred.  When I plugged in my camera to my laptop (my computer's card reader doesn't work), none of my manually converted photos showed up.  They had just disappeared! 

Well, I started crying again (hey, I thought I had just lost all my work!  How would you feel?).  Then,  my smart Mom told me something to the effect of "Quit being such a crybaby," and proceeded to experiment with the problem.

She booted up her Mac, and slipped the card into it.  And here comes the end of the climax. 

ALL my photos showed up!  I was SO excited. 

One problem, though.  ALL the photos I hadn't converted back to Fine were still in RAW.  And a 32GB card can store over 1,000 photos in my Nikon D3200.  And I had barely reached the 400 photo line.  And, yes, I'm still going through all my photos on my camera, converting them one.  by.  one.

But, the good thing is that my photos are okay.  Safe.  Secure.

And though all the photographers in all the portrait books I read shoot in RAW, I'm content right now to just stick with good ol' Fine.  And besides, when I had just got my DSLR, my photographer friend told me to set it on Fine.  So, that's where it stays for now.

And maybe, just maybe, I'll kick it back to RAW again someday.

The Trip For Kip

Recently, one of my many wishes came true.

This is Kip, the newest member to my family.  Today, he is two months old.

Earlier this week, my family bought him and drove him to a trainer.  We didn't have a name for him until about halfway into the trip.  Our two choices were "Kip" and "Chai".  My Dad let him out of his crate to walk around, and called me out of the van to take some "classy photos" to send to friends.  It took a bit, but a few photos came out well (he actually looked into the camera!).  That's when my Dad started calling him by the name Kip.

Back when I was a little kid, my family had a big black Lab named Scout.  He was a nightmare!  My Dad was training him, but then became too busy with work to do much with him.  Scout took that advantage to let loose all his playfulness.  His tail had enough force to knock a person over (or give them the slap of their life).  We eventually gave him away, and he became a hunting dog.

Kip is a very good boy.  He isn't overly dominant, and definitely not shy either.  We sat down on a picnic blanket to watch him, wondering if he was the one.  Kip sat there by the fence, watching us.  More like guarding us.  My Mom said it was like he was choosing us, not the other way around.

After a while of thinking, we sat down in our hotel room to discuss our choices.  We finally came to a conclusion that the "dog with the ticked legs that keeps watching us" was our new hunting dog.

We went back to the dog pen, picked him up, and my Dad signed the papers for the puppy.  We put him in a kennel in the back of our van, and left.

I felt kind of sad as we drove away from Kip, leaving him at the trainer's.  He was sleeping on the grass, worn out from playing.  The trainer's daughter picked him up and cuddled him.  Right then, I felt really sad.  That girl's playing with our puppy, our Kip, and we've only had him for three hours! I thought, watching him until the van turned the corner.  I couldn't see him anymore after that.  But he'll be back soon.

Patience is a virtue, and I need more of it.

My First Shoot

Today, I shot clays for the first time.  Strike that.  I shot a gun for the first time in my life.

It's the most amazing thing I think I've ever done (besides a headstand, I guess).  And when you eject the shells to reload, it smells like fireworks!

The group I was in shot .20 gauge shotguns and an over/under shotgun.  I felt a little discouraged at first because I didn't hit a single clay in the first round (nobody did, in fact), but after getting the hang of it...and shooting incoming clays, which are easier...I shot three clays in a row!

We switched areas with another group later on.  The area was open with fast, outgoing clays (those are a bit harder to shoot).  I think that was more fun than the last place.  I shot four in a row, and would have shot five had the wind slowed down a little more.  The last round, however, I shot ten out of fifteen.

The instructor told me that my dad and brother should watch out because I'll be better than them. :)

After watching the other people in my group shoot, the man let me finish the day off.  He kept giving me shell after shell until he ran out!  I said "pull" to my heart's content (well, not really...I would've shot at least 50 more clays if he'd had enough shells and time!), and by the time my mom came to pick me up, I had a lot to tell her about. 

Before I left, the instructor told me to come back soon.  I definitely will...after I get my own over/under shotgun!

Tea Party

All the girls in my family were invited by our Grandma to a tea party at her Church a few days ago.  It was a wonderful experience because I remember going to annual tea parties when I was younger.

Before we moved to a different house, Mama would host "Tuesday Teas" for us kids.  She and one chosen girl or boy (yes, the boys in our family were invited!) would prepare all the necessities for the tea while the others took a 30-minute rest time.  My little sister plans them every once in a while now.  She's the little hostess in our home... she wants to open a Tea Room when she grows up!

The Church ladies brought all kinds of foods.  Cucumber sandwiches, grapes, banana bread, cake.  They also brought their teapots as table decorations.  One lady said hers came from England!

There were many different types of tea in little glass bowls, and big pitchers full of hot water sat on the table in front of us.  Everyone talked and laughed with each other.  We shared stories and talked about lots of things.  It was great to hear about when the older ladies were children and what they remembered.

The tea was delicious.  Little Sister had six cups!  I had three (using the same teabag twice). 
My Grandma stood up and talked about a Tea Room in a building she remembered way back when.  We girls helped hand out recipe booklets from the old business. I had the honor of drawing a name from a container to see who would win a beautiful bouquet of roses in a pretty vase.

I like tea parties.

Tree Bud

I was at my Mimi's house a few weeks back.  Her backyard is covered with flowers...all of which she planted herself.  There are trees and bushes with white, pink and fuchsia buds too.  Whenever I go there, I'm sure to bring my camera along.  While I have my fair share of family conversations with my grandparents, I also take a lot of photos at their house!  It was a windy day, cool and sunny.  This was a flower on one of her beautiful trees.  I like the green background and how everything besides the flower is blurred.

Holding Your Hand

Aren't Moms simply awesome?
A friend of mine and her mom were at my house and requested a photoshoot for their store website.  I was really excited to do this (mostly because I'm the one who asks to do a photoshoot for someone!), and experimented with different angles until the sky was too dark to take any good photos.  That meant zooming in on funny faces, hands, and smiling moms and daughters.
I like this photo because the message it sends is friendship.  My mama and I are good friends, and I'm extremely thankful (OK, that's an understatement!) for her.

Airsofting Pals

My big brother has "employed" me as his airsoft battle photographer.  Here, he and his friend are walking through a field to their "bunker," discussing their next move.  I used my telephoto lens, because what photographer wants to get their $600+ dSLR to be shot up in the middle of a battle?  Not me!  So, I had fun photographing from the sidelines.  And my brother was impressed with my photos and video (and I also recruited my friend to take photos too...thanks, Paprika!)